It's very cold today...

Yesterday was quite a wet day, heavy rains almost throughout the day and gusts blowing and swishing through the trees, making a strange and ungodly sound. I often dont need the fan over my workstation, pushing the window slides wide apart sends the cool breezes wafting through the room and keeping it nice and cold.

The first year of married life must be the hardest on anyone, no matter how sweet your disposition might be and how caring and understanding you are. My husband is all that, and yet, my mood bursts descend like cloud bursts and take away the sunshine from our lives. And yet, he doesnt have to put up with anything or "adjust" to anything. He's at his own home, living the same life he lived before we met and got engaged and then married. I concentrate on my work and have very few things to gripe about, starting with the traditions and rituals and going on to opinions and prejudices. The prejudices part is the hardest to digest.

Living in the times we do, when we work and socially interact with anyone and everyone, we cannot afford to cling on to completely outdated prejudices. A prejudice is probably the most natural thing to have but the worst when you might influence someone like your child to already follow a set of beliefs and then go out into the global world and deal with those people whom you are prejudiced against. I can see a lot of negative influence. And in my position, I dont think I can do anything about it. I should have talked to my husband but he didnt ask me and I didnt tell him. Eventually, I stopped talking; only responding in the most minimum words. It felt like my opinion didnt matter. It wasnt like he didnt know what was going on, there have been thousands of times I've raised related matters on him and the scathing comment my MIL made really took the cake. I couldnt tell her to not say such things. Being too shocked by everything, I just shut up.

I can see myself taping my mouth even when my child will be around to hear this. How he/she takes it and goes into the wide open global world will be another matter altogether.